I don’t know your name. I don’t know who you are or where you are or when we will ever meet. I don’t know whether or not you are already in my life somewhere. I don’t even know if you exist in this lifetime. I’d like to believe you’re walking this earth someplace, but sometimes I’m not sure if I even believe in the idea of fate and romance anymore. Maybe you can save me from myself.
If you are in this lifetime and on this planet though, I hope I don’t meet you anytime soon. I have a lot to learn and I will probably hurt you, because I don’t know yet that you are the one who will make me happy.
I’ve been through a lot. But while I wish you could have been there with me, I know you will be proud of me because of how strong I turned out to be and all the things I made it through without you. See, I had to be alone for a while so I’d know what I’m capable of. And so I’d appreciate having someone like you more.
I like being single right now because all my time is mine. I need to be single for a while so I will not regret not having this kind of freedom in the future. When I’m yours, I’ll be completely yours because I had this time to be mine.
But sometimes I miss being in love. There are days when I wish you can get here faster just so I can have the kind of love that I’ve been waiting for since what feels like forever. But I guess it’s better that you’re not here yet because I don’t know how to be with you right now. I’ll probably say a lot of really stupid things and scare you away.
You won’t just be the love of my life, you will also be my best friend in the world. I’d always thought of all my old loves as best friends at the time, but I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I love that I will be able to tell you anything and everything and know that you will be the one person in the world who understands.
We won’t always get along and we will more-than-possibly get into some really ugly fights, but I know that in the end, we can make it through because nothing is more important than learning and growing together.
We are probably different people with diverse interests, and that’s a good thing. We will make time for what is important to the other because we like making each other happy. Of course, there will be things that we enjoy doing together. We will spend some days curled up with a blanket and books or popcorn and a good movie. Braveheart will always be a favorite between us, and reruns of FRIENDS will take up some of our lazy Sundays. But we will spend most of our time going around the world together, seeing places we’ve only once dreamed of traveling to.
We both love to talk and laugh, and we will spend a lot of our time getting to know each other. Even when we’ve been together 20 years, we will always find something new about the other or reminisce about the people we once had to be to get there. And while I will probably roll my eyes at your jokes, I will also smile just because it’s so cute how you tried to tell the punch line.
You’ve probably loved a girl (or more) before me, and that’s okay. I’m sorry though if you’ve gotten hurt and I wasn’t there to make you feel better. I’ve been in love before you, too, and I’ve also gotten my heart broken and feel like nobody could really understand. It will take a long time before I can let anyone else in again, and maybe you feel the same way. It will be better to find each other after going through all that, just so we will both know how to not take being in love for granted.
We’ve both become better people separately, something I will always be thankful for. And because of all the pain we have to go through before we meet, we will both realize then that we deserve that happiness and we deserve each other.
I don’t know what you look like but I know you have kind eyes and a genuine smile. I don’t know what you do for a living but I know that you will have time for me. I don’t know you, but I know that you can give me hug when I’m down, hold my hand for no reason and kiss me just because you love me.
There’s a possibility though, that you don’t exist, and I’m writing this letter for no one. But in spite of all the cynicism I’m entitled to, I have to believe that you’re out there somewhere. I have to believe that all the heartache I’d ever had to endure will someday lead me to you. I have to believe that God created you because He knew I would need you. And while I know I’m a complete person on my own, I have to believe that someone like you exists, someone who might not complete me, but can make life better. More beautiful. More colorful. A man who can make me believe in love again.
I don’t know who you are or if I’ll ever find you, but I wish with all my heart that you’re out there, waiting, just like I am.
I know that someday I will find you. In this lifetime, or the next, I will find you.Yours (someday),
Me 
Originally published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry, I haven't had time to write anything for this lately, but I'll be better about it. In the meantime, this is one of my pieces on Thought Catalog that I'm proudest of. I wrote it for the man I hope to meet one day, and for every single person out there, male or female, who still believes in love.
Feel na feel ko padin even after rereading it. So timely, it felt like it was written for me. lol. <3 <3
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I hope you keep reading the next entries! Salamat salamat!
Deletehehe in fairness katrungis, relate mode din ako siguro before i got married. :) I wrote something similar to this, pero tagalog, and it was meant as a song composition - but it never got out. But one thing a friend told me before (that i did for fun) - was to write down all the ideal ideal qualities of a guy i wanted to be with - and lahat as in lahat ng specs lagay ko - pati mga non negotiable factors - so andun yung height, attitude, loyalty, respectful sa parents, madaling pakisamahan, mahilig sa music, may itsura (hehe) and the list was quite long - i got carried away. :) And of course, i was in high school back then when i made that list, and it was just wishful thinking back then. But i realized after writing it down, that now that i know what i really wanted and looked for, i can't settle for less, or compromise my standards for a man - especially when it comes to values, because if i find him, he has to be good enough to be the father of my kids (and i wasn't planning on kids back then - i just envisioned a relationship that was for keeps na. ) He has to be able to be my equal, possibly more, but not less. He has to be my friend, my partner, and share my quirks. And never bore me. And be able to love me completely - all the good and strange and weird in me.
ReplyDeleteIt took quite a while before somebody like that came, but he found me. ;) And he came out of nowhere too. :) And the waiting has just been worth it.
May yours come at the right time :)
Thanks sis! Right now I'm just focusing on me and my life. Love will come someday, but whether or not it does, I know I'll be okay. I'm happy you found your love! Your children light up my life. I hope you will always be blessed with love, health and happiness. You deserve it! Love you sis!
DeleteMam a priceless genuine THANKS to begin with. You might not be knowing the fact that you have revived the hope of a love waited who is probably the next great thinker one who believes that one day he will become one of the greatest living minds provided he finds love before it is too late. I can't express it in writing because it is impossible to express my feelings in words. To say I'm hopeless helpless person at a pretty tender age of 16 but I for my part know that age isn't the most deciding factor especially when it comes to love. My life is increasingly becoming hell like. Having applied too many filters I for myself fear that there is no single girl with even a nearly congruent personality as mine. I don't love anything more than love itself and cosmology. But the truth is that even Einstein and Hawking submitted to these laws of nature based on love and attractions. I believe that one has to be lucky enough to find love and whoever whom I meet who is not single I attempt to make them realise the very fact. I have kept thinking about all these throughout my life and at times have gone metaphysical. But here I'm not going too deep around all that for I'm very obsessive thinker. To be concise and equally precise it is to say that your poem has been of invaluable help to me today. Among other things it is one of my core inspirations. It's incredible to know that people particularly women so pure hearted like you exist. Thanks to all those whose words have inspired me to regain my faith in living and now you are one among them, a living example. Wish you all the best Mam for your life please contact me if you ever need any motivational help although this kind of a remark may seem weird but see that I am saying all this without knowing about you a lot. But Thanx anyways Mam and now let me explore other similar articles on the blog. I will also love my person if ever I find her which I infinitely believe in, unconditionally selflessly even breaking the bound of scientific and natural possibilities. And lastly Sorry Mam if I have hurt you but your poem is amazingly superb. I am inexperienced although somewhat mature. So please forgive me.
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